DFS sofa sells for record £30m
A DFS sofa has been sold at Sotheby’s to an unknown buyer for a record £30m. A wealthy Japanese collector of fine furniture bought the sofa, discovered in a neglected state in the front garden of a...
View ArticleApple in DFS takeover bid
Apple is preparing to enter the UK sofa market with an ambitious bid to acquire DFS. ‘It makes complete sense,’ says market analyst Rodney Wiles. ‘Steve Jobs has long been an admirer of Discount...
View ArticleDFS sale signals green shoots of economic recovery
In a surprise move, sofa retailer DFS announced today they are all set to buck the national trend of economic doom and gloom. The peddler of softwood, foam and velour seating confirmed that plans are...
View ArticleSir Alex Ferguson complains about extra time at DFS sale
Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, has publically complained after the DFS sale was extended by 2 days this weekend. The additional time allowed Manchester City manager, Roberto Mancini, to...
View ArticleFamilies urged to stop being interviewed on horrible sofas
People in the news should refrain from appearing on television bulletins sitting on horrible sofas, says a social attitudes report. Dr. Muriel Comfort of the Social Attitudes Foundation, said:...
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Health concerns over man who paid full price at Alton Towers
A man, whose name has been withheld to spare him public humiliation has been detained for psychiatric reports after arriving unannounced with his wife and two children at Alton Towers and attempting to...
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Atheism renounced to avoid working bank holiday weekend
Charles Richards, a previously strident atheist, was forced to renounce his beliefs under exerted pressure from his employer to work on Good Friday and Easter Monday. ‘My supervisor had approached me...
View ArticleBreakthrough in Brexit talks will see EU retain access to DFS sale
An important breakthrough has been made in ongoing post-Brexit trade negotiations that will see the EU retain access to the DFS sale after Britain leaves. Continued access to incredible savings across...
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